HK. Did you ask the African Americans at the party what they thought about it? Then or since? just curious.

I have noticed that it is rare for an insulted guest to point out offensive behavior at a private party

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Time place circumstance applies to most things. When I was a kid in England we had golliwogs - black dolls. Now I remember my sister having one and it was all about diversity as far as we knew, as we were seeing more dark skin people around, particularly in London. A lot were rastafarian and I later worked with many, most from the caribbean. None of us had an issue working together and a lot of early discrimination was being recognised as wrong. At some point the golly (rightly dropped the dog part

rightly the wog part of golliwog was dropped and they eventually disappeared. So what started out as a means of including diversity became a thing to despise as it offended some.

I say these things as we all need to attempt to be culturally aware, but what may seem racist to some, might not be in another circumstance.

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It is difficult if not impossible for the majority to decide what is racist. I still hold that if something now is agreed to be racist that was not seen as racist in the past, you should ask people of the offended group if they always believed it to be racist.

After watching Spike Lee's movie "Bamboozled" back in the early 2000's (great film btw) I cannot see how anyone could find blackface acceptable. I agree with Tuco (miracle?) ask the potentially offended group and see what they think about it.

Tuco - my roommates boyfriend was black, a lawyer. He & my friend had a whole long conversation, battling it out, who could use the most bizarre long words. The party kinda stopped where they were & everyone was listening to them & laughing. No offense was taken. When they were done, one of my Chinese friends stepped up between them and raised up both their arms (like at a wrestling match), to much applause.

Tuco - Also interesting about pointing out offensive behavior. We must have very different friends. Same party. One of my most chill, soft spoken, easy going friends showed up at the party, I just happened to be at the front door, and there he stood in a full Padres uniform. The Padres had just beaten the Cubs for the division. I immediately said a very disapproving 'Bob, what are you thinking???' and he just walked past me, and that's when I busted a gut. He had a bloody knife stuck in the middle of his back. He put up with this all night long, but he got his reward in tons of laughter when people saw his back. You better believe he was challenged up front & personal.

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I read today where liam neeson said he was so enraged that a friend was raped by a black man that he would go to sketchy neighborhoods planning to kill a black man. He then told Robin Roberts that he isn't a racist. He said I'd the rapist had been Irish or welsh he would have gone after one of them. If he was not a racist their ethnicity would not be an issue. HK I want to go to your parties. :-)

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EZPZ 10.

HK - point well taken. But I'd suggest that if your friend, rather than be in blackface depicting Mayor Washington, rather came as a pimp, accompanied by someone in full KKK regalia, reception would have been different. But Virginia politics is certainly interesting these days . . .